How to Make the Most Out of Supervised Visitation
Being ordered to see your child in a supervised setting may feel embarrassing, insulting, or stressful. However, it is often a stepping stone to unsupervised visitation and shared custody. Using this time effectively and proving yourself to the court can put you in a better position to strengthen your relationship with your child and work toward unsupervised visitation. Navigating this process with the help of a child custody lawyer in California can alleviate your stress and anxiety.
Choosing the right child custody law firm can make a significant difference in how this process unfolds. That’s why we recommend meeting with the team at Milligan Beswick Levine & Knox. Our team of experienced child custody attorneys has helped clients work through a wide range of complicated custody matters. One of our skilled family lawyers is Attorney James Knox, whose decades of experience have made him the top choice for many local parents seeking help with custody concerns. Call us at 909-894-0812 to set up a consultation now.
Know the Purpose of Supervised Visitation
There are several reasons that the court may order supervised visits. In some situations, this order is the result of known safety issues—often domestic abuse, significant mental health struggles, or substance abuse. However, supervised visits may also be ordered when someone is establishing custody after a long period without contact. The goal isn’t to punish the supervised parent; it’s to give them time with their child in a safe, structured manner.
The court recognizes two types of supervisors: professional and nonprofessional supervisors. Professional supervisors have specialized training and have passed a background check that allows them to work with children. The parent who needs supervised visits pays the supervisor for each visit. Nonprofessional supervisors are typically friends or family members who don’t have specialized training but who can be trusted to keep the child safe.
Emotional and Logistical Preparation
Your child custody lawyer can help you properly prepare for supervised visits, especially early on when you’re still getting used to the routine. A good visit starts with you arriving early and taking a couple minutes to get in the right mental space for a visit. Staying calm and child-focused can help you make each visit count.
Whether you’re meeting your child at a visitation center or an approved neutral location, make sure that you bring age-appropriate activities to keep them engaged and comfortable. You might bring a book to read to them, a new coloring book and crayons, or a simple game that you can play together. Kids often feel more comfortable in unusual situations when there’s something familiar they can lean on. If your child is a bit older, think of some questions you can ask to keep conversation going. Consider asking about school, their friends, extracurricular activities, and hobbies.
Keep Each Visit Child-Centered
The purpose of each supervised visit is to build the relationship between you and your child, so keep the focus there. If you notice a certain topic or activity makes your child more relaxed and happy to engage with you, follow their lead and stick to that. Gauge their level of comfort and meet them there; if they are quiet and warming up to you, don’t overload them with affection or conversation. If they are jumping right in and telling you all about their life, listen and ask follow-up questions.
Keep all communication positive and age-appropriate. You can acknowledge your child’s feelings, recognize their efforts in games or activities, and show them that you are a source of positive encouragement for them.
Challenges and How to Handle Them
Child custody attorneys see the same issues crop up repeatedly with supervised visits. They include:
- Child crying or struggling with the visit: This is common. Children often struggle with change, and they typically warm up with time. Reassure them without forcing interaction, and try to divert them to a preferred activity.
- Parent bringing up the other parent or custody battle: Some parents use this time to dig for information on the other parent’s dating life or what they say about the custody battle. Avoid these topics at all costs.
- Disagreeing with monitor’s instructions: Even if the supervisor’s instructions don’t make sense to you or seem blatantly unfair, follow them and bring up concerns later with your child custody law firm.
Prepare for the Future With Milligan Beswick Levine & Knox
As you work toward unsupervised visitation or shared custody, make sure you have the right team fighting for you. Let’s talk about your next steps now. Get in touch with us online or call us at 909-894-0812.
Stephen Levine, is a Board Certified Specialist in Criminal Defense — an honor achieved by only the top criminal law attorneys in California. Mr. Levine has over 40 years of experience in criminal defense and family law serving Southern California, and is a highly regarded Super Lawyer as well as AV Rated attorney.